New figures obtained by National Family Mediation show that government policy aimed at promoting mediation as the preferred way of settling disputes over parenting, finance and property has failed.

Since 22 April 2014 attendance at a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) has been compulsory before a separating couple can apply for a court order in divorce proceedings.

However, figures obtained by a Freedom of Information request to the Ministry of Justice show that in 2014/15 only one in 20 applications for applications for private law proceedings to a family court followed the new ‘compulsory’ route – fewer than 5,000 MIAMs from over 112,000 private law applications.

National Family Mediation Chief Executive, Jane Robey, said: “By requiring separating couples to attend a mediation awareness meeting, the government’s aim was to introduce a cheaper and less confrontational alternative to court. But with fewer than one in 20 of couples even attending the initial meeting, let alone following that route through to its conclusion, the law has failed.

“We genuinely welcomed the law change requiring couples to explore mediation as an alternative to combative court proceedings. We knew it could not transform the culture of divorce on its own, but these figures suggest even this small government step has flopped.

“National Family Mediation and the mediation community alone cannot change the entrenched culture of adversarial and expensive court proceedings in divorce cases. More government support is needed to inform, educate and publicise the fact that MIAMs are compulsory in order to ensure the law is properly enforced and much more mediation is delivered.

“It’s not just that this is a law, the truth is that settlements negotiated through mediation offer a brighter future for separating families up and down the land.

“And given the well-publicised crisis of the clogged up family courts, one would think judges would have welcomed the changes and exercised their powers to take best advantage of the changes. That does not appear to be the case.”

If you would like to speak about this issue or any family related situation, please contact Lisa Broddle or Mikayla Lettin at Stone Rowe Brewer, who will be able to answer any questions you may have. Please call 020 8891 6141 or e-mail the Family Team, familyteam@srb.co.uk.

Family change is a complex and emotional process few of us are prepared for. It stands to reason that we would want and need some support at such a difficult time. Whilst your lawyer is there for you in terms of legal support, many people find emotional support is really what they need to make effective decisions, and so supplement legal help with a Family Consultant.

A Family Consultant (FC) – is trained in reducing conflict, keeping the lid on raw, unhelpful emotions and improving communication between you, your partner and your lawyers. The FC’s job is to help you reach a settlement more quickly, (saving time and money) preserving or improving the relationship you have with your ex and so enabling you to parent together in the future or be a better prospective partner in your onward life. Keeping a positive relationship going throughout the divorce is a huge factor in determining each person’s satisfaction with the settlement reached.

The lawyer may call the FC a coach, they may even say “therapist” – and it all sounds a bit American right? Don’t worry; this is not three years of intense self-analysis. This is practical support to help you to make the best possible agreements in the shortest possible time.

The FC’s job is to work alongside your lawyer, facilitating meetings between you and your ex or seeing you separately to give emotional, practical or skills based support, targeted at the time and the issues most critical to a successful settlement. The most common type of help I give as an FC is summarised in the diagram below. Sometimes couples need space to explain the pain they feel before contemplating a settlement, particularly if it’s not their decision to end the partnership. Whatever the process, whatever stage you’re at, having an FC on board means divorce doesn’t have to be the horror story we all hear about. You can choose to manage family change differently – and cost effectively.

If you’d like to learn more about how an FC can help you, please email Kate Daly at kate@familychange.co.uk  She is a qualified Family Consultant & Divorce Coach working with Lawyers & Mediators across London to reduce conflict in divorce & separation.