Family change is a complex and emotional process few of us are prepared for. It stands to reason that we would want and need some support at such a difficult time. Whilst your lawyer is there for you in terms of legal support, many people find emotional support is really what they need to make effective decisions, and so supplement legal help with a Family Consultant.
A Family Consultant (FC) – is trained in reducing conflict, keeping the lid on raw, unhelpful emotions and improving communication between you, your partner and your lawyers. The FC’s job is to help you reach a settlement more quickly, (saving time and money) preserving or improving the relationship you have with your ex and so enabling you to parent together in the future or be a better prospective partner in your onward life. Keeping a positive relationship going throughout the divorce is a huge factor in determining each person’s satisfaction with the settlement reached.
The lawyer may call the FC a coach, they may even say “therapist” – and it all sounds a bit American right? Don’t worry; this is not three years of intense self-analysis. This is practical support to help you to make the best possible agreements in the shortest possible time.
The FC’s job is to work alongside your lawyer, facilitating meetings between you and your ex or seeing you separately to give emotional, practical or skills based support, targeted at the time and the issues most critical to a successful settlement. The most common type of help I give as an FC is summarised in the diagram below. Sometimes couples need space to explain the pain they feel before contemplating a settlement, particularly if it’s not their decision to end the partnership. Whatever the process, whatever stage you’re at, having an FC on board means divorce doesn’t have to be the horror story we all hear about. You can choose to manage family change differently – and cost effectively.
If you’d like to learn more about how an FC can help you, please email Kate Daly at email@example.com She is a qualified Family Consultant & Divorce Coach working with Lawyers & Mediators across London to reduce conflict in divorce & separation.